Why Am I Here and Where Am I Going
Why am I here? It’s the question that is frequently on my
mind. I know how I got here. A lack of self-control. From my parents that is. They
were not really in the best position to have children but made do with what
they had.
With that being said, I was born at Highland Hospital, time 12:45
am, date, 7/17/1991. The hospital is located in East Side of Oakland and not
far away from the MacArthur Freeway or international.
As an infant to a
toddler growing up in Oakland was not easy. Ever since I can remember violence
has plagued every moment of my life as a child. I learned a few things along
the way. One of those things I learned was, whatever doesn’t break you or kill you,
makes you a bit stronger in many ways.
I had a small break at the age of nine. I came to live with
my godfather through the foster care system by court request from my mother.
Evidently during this time my little brother and i had been split up a couple
years prior.
When I came to live with my godfather things changed significantly.
I noticed a change in my brother. As we were starting to get to know each other
again. Things weren’t as they were before. The both of us were constantly at
each other's throats. For reasons I will never know.
A year later had passed after the both of us came to live
with my godfather I will admit things where rocky at first but eventually
mellowed out. My brother and I became close though this turbulent time.
Later on in that year
something else changed the course of my life forever. The morning of 9/11/2001
I wake up to the most insane news. The twin towers were attacked.when that happend a sense of total dread came over me. (During this
time I lived in el sor brantë which is between Pinole and Richmond).
Few months after that, my little brother and my godfather
packed our things and traveled to Southeast Asia where I would spend the next
seven months in very strange and exotic
places.
I came back to the states on 9/12/2002. I ended up taking a
9/11 flight one year exactly after the anniversary, That was spooky as hell.
The whole time I was on the flight I was afraid it was going to be hi-jacked
and we all would die I a horrible fiery flamed death. I’m glad that never
happened when the plane landed. I've had a few chuckles since then.
Things were so much different when I got back. It took
several years to eventually catch up on things. Even then I never truly came
back from Asia. When I did come back the states grew cold and dark like an
abandoned house that no one wants to be in. it’s like America became obsessed
with materialistic things and status.
Years later when I was 13 years old I moved to West Oakland. When
I moved there things got really bad . I remember those hot summer nights when People
where killing each over total mindlessness that could have been resolved
through sit-downs. I guess the heat was boiling minds and making people lose
their temper causing them to go temporarily insane. This would go on for a few
years.
When I turned 14, It was an extremely weird and crazy time.
Everything was so unpredictable that year, but I learned about life, love, hate,
anger, suffering and fun.
I truly just floated along like a feather in the wind. I got
into smoking a lot of pot and ditching school. I started to engage activities with
females I met at school aswell as fighting alot. All these things had a domino
effect on my life .As a teenager my life was filled with turmoil and I felt as
though I pretty much rollercoastered though it with alot of ups
and downs.
Years later at the ages of 18-20 it was a really harsh time. Between two bad
breakups, dead grandfather, a dead friend, being stuck up with an semi-automatic
weapon and pistols. Yeah you could say things were horrible.
Out of it I learned how to become just. And take the good
with the bad. Because with without the shitty things happening in life, how can
you enjoy the wonderful things It has to offer.
During that whole drastic experience I discovered how to
become the man I always wanted to be. Self-assured, strong, a good friend and
an understanding man to my family, who I always put first.
Now at the age of 21 i know
now where I'm going. Iv drawn a mental
map of things I want to do and need to do. The funny thing is not a lot of
people get to go through life and learn from their mistakes and plan ahead.
Most would say they know what they want to do. They are right, wrong or lost. But for me I took the initiative to prioritize whats really important in life such as going back to school. I'm currently enrolled at both BCC and Laney colleges. I was going to CCSF college in San Francisco. Long story short on why I switched schools I just needed a fresh start and let go of old memories I didnt need and where only getting in the way of my success.
But I did get the help I needed when I was attended there thanks to a great guy named Michael McPartlin and others. The goals I set out for the time I turn 24 or 25 is to finish up my Associates degree as well as going to the U.S. Navy. From there i’m going to take full advantage of the time I spend there to receive a bachelor’s degree.
Upon receiving my degree. I will be able to have the opportunity to do all the things in life I always wanted to do when I get out. But Most importantly when joining up I will get to travel and explore more of the planet like a did as a child. But this time it’s going to be different. The traveling will be done in the US military on a naval ship.
So where am I going you ask? I going to live life
the way I want to live it no matter where I land. Living every moment of
freedom the way I want to live it. I don't plan to stop there. I plan to do
everything humanly possible that life has to offer to one human being. I plan
to make the best out of my whole situation no matter good or bad. I want to do
things my way.
That's where I'm going.
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